Since the moment I gave my heart to my husband, it has been cherished, protected, nurtured and never broken. My husband could not be the man that he is today, without having Daddy as a father. A rare man indeed, the embodiment of Daddy’s legacy is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but, as Pericles stated, what is woven into the lives of others.
Although I met Daddy in what would become the twilight of his life, he seemed to fit several lifetimes into our coach conversations in his home. I still picture him at his favorite spot, on the left side of that leather coach. Daddy was deep, informed and wise. Our conversations ranged from politics, medicine, sports and my favorite topic, praise of his son. As a psychiatrist, and former medical director of a psychiatric hospital, it may have been easy to psychoanalyze every conversation, but he never made me feel like a patient. In fact, since our first meeting at St. Mary-le-Bow Church, he has treated me like a welcomed daughter. While conversing, I looked up at him, and was relieved to find a slight twinkle in his eyes. That ember burned bright, and as I stood in his warmth I knew then and there that I had gained another father.
Our introduction at my cousin’s church wedding not too far from his beloved St. Paul’s Cathedral, was serendipitous and foreshadowed many happy coincidences woven into the intricate lattice that forged the merging of our families. My parents were at that first meeting as well, and they formed an instant connection. Later they would become fluent in the language of WhatsApp memes, salutations, videos and inspirational messages. My family found such joy in becoming part of this family.
Daddy was always the perfect gentleman. He took me in as his own daughter from the beginning. I can still remember his kind words at our wedding. I treasure the time I spent with him. I feel so fortunate that we had Daddy’s counsel all these years later. Through his living example he revealed himself to be a man of honor, grace and faith. We have so many wonderful, joyful Christmas memories that we will treasure for years to come. He is an amazing father and an incredible role model. I also bore witness to my husband in another light, as a devoted, faithful and loving son. I am confident that his legacy will live on in my husband, my sister-in-love, and future generations.
Daddy loved his life, and he loved life. He enjoyed seeing history up close. He loved to have stories to come back and share, to make you feel as though you were there. Armed with his wisdom and informed by his experiences he was generous, welcoming, confident and faithful. Daddy got into my life. Deep into my life. He knew my triumphs, he knew my struggles, he remembered anniversaries and birthdays. I was touched by Daddy’s life. I was touched by his humor, his idealism, his love and most of all, by his faith. It was a wonderful thing to behold the love he had for his family, and the extraordinary capacity he had to love all of us and make us feel loved. I will be forever grateful.
Daddy was a man of faith, a man of honor and a man of love. You’ve lived a wonderful life. I know you are at peace. Your time on earth has been well spent. Your presence in our lives was a gift and we will cherish the memories of you always. May God be with you forever. I am honored to have the privilege of calling you Daddy. A man of fervent faith, proven devotion and abiding love. I say in grief that he is gone, but I am grateful that he was.
Although I am no stranger to tragedy, I take comfort in the words from our shared faith and a poem that gives me peace in times of sorrow:
The Little Ship
I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea
The setting sun tinted his white sails with a golden light, and as he disappeared from sight, a voice at myside whispered, “He is gone.”
But the sea was a narrow one.
On the farther shore a little band of friends had gathered to watch and wait in happy expectation.
Suddenly they caught sight of the tiny sail and, at the very moment when my companion had whispered, “He is gone” a glad shout went up in joyous welcome,
“Here he comes!”
Sade Orija
27th November 2023